Posts tagged ‘soul’

July 2, 2011

Riding the waves

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

Lately, I’ve had some bad times with some RSD issues. The flare ups have been difficult to manage. Day to day, I’m not too sure what to expect. The other morning, feeling blue again, I found myself thinking that I just need to ride the waves.

Now, when I thought about riding the waves, I had a negative feeling of a person standing alone on the beach with the waves crashing down on them. My summertime version of being overwhelmed. But, may be I need to revisit that snapshot. Why can’t I be the surfer in the ocean waiting to catch the perfect wave. This got me to thinking….what do I really know about riding the waves? I could be that person on the beach, but I’d really rather be the one on the surfboard. So, I googled surfing. Naturally, Wikipedia had the best information. Here’s what I discovered. The waves that surfers want to come are created by the swell of the on the open water called the fetch. The combination of the two will create the perfect waves. It’s up to the surfer to figure out how to ride it. Surfers can ride waves in different ways. We’ve all seen the surfer inside the curl, you can go on top of the wave, or weave in and out. Apparently, according to Wikipedia, the key to good surfing is good balance and core strength. So, what does this all have to do with RSD and my recovery? Good question.

Now, there is the literal parallel. Right now, I’m sitting outside of my physical therapists office, where I am working on core strength and balance. But, I want to go outside of that. Surfers know that the waves will come with varying strengths and intensities. They spend years looking for that perfect wave. May be it will never come and may be it will. It doesn’t matter. I suspect that all surfers will say that the journey of the search makes it worthwhile, not the actual wave. So, may e when I think of myself riding the waves, I don’t have to be the scared person on the shore waiting for the waves to crash into me. I’d really rather be the surfer who looks forward to the waves. And weaves in and out of them because that looks really cool. Cowabunga!

BTW…totally blew the budget @ Disney. Good news is that I didn’t break the bank, but made things pretty tight for the next two weeks.

June 7, 2011

The price of things these days..

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’m at the point in my life to follow what I love..what does this means to me?

There is a price and cost associated with and to everything these days. Financially, how can I not focus on the actual costs of things? With gas averaging $4 per gallon, prices of groceries skyrocketing, I can’t help but focus on my bottom line. It’s like getting pay cut. The benefit to all of this is that it forces me to really examine how I choose to spent my “assets” and why. I constantly challenge myself with questions, including what will this add, do I really need it, is it a want and can I get it cheaper. Answering these questions help me to determine the right decisions. I am clear and confident about what I choose.

I’ve been trying to use these same questions to apply them to my health and body budget. For example, I’ve received the medical clearance that I wanted to go back to exercising. I used to work out a lot. I used to train for 10 mile races a few times year. I used to go to Zumba several times per week. All of those things were my outlet. They are clearly something that I value and want, and need, in my life. It is a clear want. I might also argue that I need exercise in my life. However, energy is limited. Therefore, I need to determine what is my real need and what the consequences of that exercise might be. For example, I have just finished my Zumba class for the third day in a row. I can already tell that will have a significant impact in my energy levels. I was hoping that it would assist me in getting to the next level of fitness. But, I can see it’s going to have a negative impact on what I am able to do these next few days. So, while I did enjoy my Zumba, it didn’t add anything to my recovery. A better choice might be to focus on strength training. My emotional bank has been fairly high the past few days. But, my physical budget is low. My foot is numb. I believe that my same injury to the break and ligament tears are aggravated. So, I made a bad choice with my assets. For the next few days, I need to recoup what I’ve lost. Tomorrow, I’ll try yoga or something else more low key.

May 14, 2011

Connecting with others

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

One of my therapists, Leta, gave me the name and number of client who also has a neurostimulator implanted. She was looking to connect with others who have implants. This was the first time that I have spoken to another implanted patient. Her implant is for a facial nerve. The leads are on her upper lip and above her brow. They connect behind her left ear with the wire connecting to the battery above her breast bone. She is having some troubles adjusting to the implant. She is four weeks after the surgery. We shared our stories and journeys that have lead to these decisions. I spoke to her for about 45 minutes. While I spoke to her, I felt good. I was finally doing something to acknowledge and accept what has happened to me. It felt a little less that something bad happened to me, but rather I was doing something about the bad thing that happened. I felt very positive.
After I got off of the phone, I cried for hours. It was a level of acceptance that I haven’t felt yet. I have spent the last few years in and out of doctors, but I haven’t really heard what they were trying to tell me. It’s been a long journey medically, but I haven’t started the journey to heal my soul. May be this is the first step.