Archive for ‘Uncategorized’

July 27, 2011

Face the music

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

So, I’ve gained 12 lbs since I’ve been working out again. Some very kind individuals tell me tht it’s muscle, but it’s not. It’s from poor eating habits. I could make many excuses, but it’s from me not taking care of myself.

For three months after my surgery, I didn’t exercse one bit. I did the physical therapy, if that counts, so I was moving. But, it wasn’t the high intensity cardio that I like so much. And have been doing 5 times a week. I went back to the gym hoping to maintain. You see, I’ve trained for the 10 milers and 10Ks. 100% of the time, I gain weight while I’m traning. This isn’t because of a lack of exercise. Poor nutritional habits.

I do have a sweet tooth that accounts for some of my bad habits. But, the worst part of it all, is that I’m not eating enough. I am so used to restricting my diet that I can’t seem to find the right balance between exercise and food. I am also nervous that the side effects of my meds are catching up with me. All of them warn about weight gain.

So, my solution is to journal what I eat. I hate doing that. It’s a form of torture. May be the thought of journaling will be enough to do what I need to do. I also need to add more weight training and less cardio, or less intensive.

OK. A plan works for me. And the public confession. This way, you all can hold me accountable.

June 10, 2011

Money does grow on trees

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I used to have this great vision of a child of a money tree. It looked like a tall oak tree with all kinds of bills in the place of trees. I wished that I could be the first to find that money tree. As an adult, I’ve lost the vision. However, I realized that money does actually grow on trees.

Here’s my thought. I can’t make more money, so, in looking at my financial budget, I need to look closer at my how I spend my money. Stores are continuing to raise their prices and the price of gas is at a “cheap” $3.75 per gallon right now. But, here’s the money on trees, coupons!

I have tried to commit to coupons over the past few months. It’s a lot of cutting without a lot of pay off. My first try at it, I spent $250 and saved $5. Not too great. I did better the next week, saving $10 on $80. Then I lost inspiration. I admit, I did stop watching Extreme Couponing, which was fueling my coupon frenzy. But, it still didn’t seem to sustain me.

This morning, as I was thinking about my money tree and childhood dreams, I realized that rather than trying to compete with the couponers, some of whom seemed like glorified hoarders (sorry), I just need to envision that money tree. Instead of bills on that tree…coupons. All I need to do is see the tree through the forest.

June 7, 2011

The price of things these days..

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’m at the point in my life to follow what I love..what does this means to me?

There is a price and cost associated with and to everything these days. Financially, how can I not focus on the actual costs of things? With gas averaging $4 per gallon, prices of groceries skyrocketing, I can’t help but focus on my bottom line. It’s like getting pay cut. The benefit to all of this is that it forces me to really examine how I choose to spent my “assets” and why. I constantly challenge myself with questions, including what will this add, do I really need it, is it a want and can I get it cheaper. Answering these questions help me to determine the right decisions. I am clear and confident about what I choose.

I’ve been trying to use these same questions to apply them to my health and body budget. For example, I’ve received the medical clearance that I wanted to go back to exercising. I used to work out a lot. I used to train for 10 mile races a few times year. I used to go to Zumba several times per week. All of those things were my outlet. They are clearly something that I value and want, and need, in my life. It is a clear want. I might also argue that I need exercise in my life. However, energy is limited. Therefore, I need to determine what is my real need and what the consequences of that exercise might be. For example, I have just finished my Zumba class for the third day in a row. I can already tell that will have a significant impact in my energy levels. I was hoping that it would assist me in getting to the next level of fitness. But, I can see it’s going to have a negative impact on what I am able to do these next few days. So, while I did enjoy my Zumba, it didn’t add anything to my recovery. A better choice might be to focus on strength training. My emotional bank has been fairly high the past few days. But, my physical budget is low. My foot is numb. I believe that my same injury to the break and ligament tears are aggravated. So, I made a bad choice with my assets. For the next few days, I need to recoup what I’ve lost. Tomorrow, I’ll try yoga or something else more low key.

June 5, 2011

What I have learned from nature

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

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I went to the National Zoo yesterday. Absolutely amazing animals. I fell in love with the clouded leopard. I don’t recall ever seeing fur so beautiful. It got me to thinking about all that I could learn from nature.
1. Even though I do love the clouded leopard, there are so many different furs and pelts that are just as beautiful. We were not all created to be the same. May be there is room for differences.
2. I love a monkey. Let me tell you why. Monkeys are smart. Monkeys don’t like to be limited by cages. But, monkeys make the best of it. They roll around, play and fling poo at each other. They are making the most of it and still having fun! Who couldn’t learn from a monkey?
3. Some animals are more popular than others. It reminded me of high school. But, that didn’t make the “less popular” animals less. They weren’t less intriguing, less fascinating or just plan less.
4. Mob mentality rules. At the panda house, everyone mobbed outside, where there were no pandas to be seen. They sat waiting and the crowd grew larger in anticipation of something that was never there. But, if you turned the corner, you got to see the panda. Sometimes, you can’t follow the mob. Make your own path.
5. The zoo is fun!

We topped the day off with a trip to Georgetown Cupcakes, which were absolutely wonderful and worth the wait in line. I’m trying to use what I learned from the zoo to be okay with the fact that I am different and lost a little of myself. It’s a slow process for me. I’m not sure that I’ll get there. In the meantime, I think the larger lesson learned was that every day is better when you top it off with a cupcake!

For my body budget, physically I feel spent. All of the walking and long easy burned me out. Emotionally, I am overflowing. The city and life has an energy all onto it’s own. It’s contagious. The big question of today is what will these energy levels help me get done today?

April 14, 2011

Shoes in Holland

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I don’t remember the shoes that I was wearing when I had the car accident, which is funny for me. I’ve always been about the shoes. Growing up, I never did try on my mother’s shoes. I wanted to tell my own story. When I got married, I had beautiful white Kenneth Cole Mary janes¬†with a sturdy heel since I would be on my feet. For all three of my surgeries, I wore my brown knit Uggs. My comfort shoes. When I broke my foot, I had cute Italian brown leather wedge sandals from J Crew. I was traveling in Santa Monica for business. Some people build their outfits around items of clothing. I build them around my shoes. I have RSD, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, in all four of my limbs. To manage the pain, I have two Spinal Neural Stimulators that have been implanted in a series of three surgeries. I take daily doses of nerve medication and supplements to manage pain. At this time, I also have PT twice a week. My team of doctors include a pain management specialist, my general practitioner, a neurosurgeon, an orthopedic and the team of physical therapists that torture me on a weekly basis. I could dwell on the inequity of life, how bad things happen to good people, etc. Really, I think mostly about the shoes. I am reminded of the poem, Welcome to Holland
Sometimes, life isn’t what we thought it was going to be, but that doesn’t make it bad.
So, my journey begins now. How to deal with the ever after. There are two pairs of shoes that I miss the most. My prized black patent leather Manolo Blahnik¬†Mary Janes and the running shoes that I wore for my first marathon. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back into those shoes, but I have hope. May be it won’t be those. May be there are new prizes ahead of me. I hear that Holland has those cute wooden flats.