Posts tagged ‘SNS’

September 21, 2011

My PT dilemma

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I am faced with a PT dilemma. PT is working. My back and neck are actually feeling better. I can see my neck again. My shoulders are starting to release. I know that I can continue to get gains. Truth be told, I’m just tired of going. It’s been 10 months, on top of two years, of weekly and biweekly visits. I’m tired and quite frankly poor. At $15 dollars per visit, it’s costing me about $60 per month for the visits. Not to mention the time away from either work or the family. I just am not that motivated to go. I’ve been trying to talk myself into believing that it could be different if I cut things back to just once per week. I suppose that it could, but I can’t even manage to get to the appointments. I’ve missed the last two. One for lack of scheduling and the second due to traffic. I was supposed to call back yesterday, but I couldn’t even manage that.

I’m thinking that the real trigger is that I just want to be as normal as possible. No more doctors. But I do have a new norm. It’s all a lot to consider. A step at a time. The first step is to pick up h phone and make the call. May be I will, but, then again. When all else fails, I think, what would I tell my kids. Do the right thing, but I hate the right thing.

I’ll call and try and get scheduled soon….later.

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April 14, 2011

Shoes in Holland

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I don’t remember the shoes that I was wearing when I had the car accident, which is funny for me. I’ve always been about the shoes. Growing up, I never did try on my mother’s shoes. I wanted to tell my own story. When I got married, I had beautiful white Kenneth Cole Mary janes¬†with a sturdy heel since I would be on my feet. For all three of my surgeries, I wore my brown knit Uggs. My comfort shoes. When I broke my foot, I had cute Italian brown leather wedge sandals from J Crew. I was traveling in Santa Monica for business. Some people build their outfits around items of clothing. I build them around my shoes. I have RSD, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, in all four of my limbs. To manage the pain, I have two Spinal Neural Stimulators that have been implanted in a series of three surgeries. I take daily doses of nerve medication and supplements to manage pain. At this time, I also have PT twice a week. My team of doctors include a pain management specialist, my general practitioner, a neurosurgeon, an orthopedic and the team of physical therapists that torture me on a weekly basis. I could dwell on the inequity of life, how bad things happen to good people, etc. Really, I think mostly about the shoes. I am reminded of the poem, Welcome to Holland
Sometimes, life isn’t what we thought it was going to be, but that doesn’t make it bad.
So, my journey begins now. How to deal with the ever after. There are two pairs of shoes that I miss the most. My prized black patent leather Manolo Blahnik¬†Mary Janes and the running shoes that I wore for my first marathon. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back into those shoes, but I have hope. May be it won’t be those. May be there are new prizes ahead of me. I hear that Holland has those cute wooden flats.