Posts tagged ‘budget’

June 12, 2011

Faking it

by Living with RSD: what comes next?


I feel great. After 3 cups of coffee and a tramadol. I’m ready to exercise. I know that I will feel my endorphin high later. I also know that I’ll pay for it later.

So, the question of the day is this, is it better to fake it and take some pills to have some extra energy to exercise, or should I not take the pills and maintain my low level of energy? I don’t know. Yesterday, I had a great day. I also took a tramadol and higher doses of Lyrica. Oh, also a two hour nap. I woke up very tired and groggy today. Nothing that another tramadol can’t take care of. But, this is how the addiction starts and is exactly what I didn’t want. Medication to get through the day. But, all of my days lately are just me faking it. Faking the smile, faking the confidence and faking the happiness. It’s like I’ve left the party in someone else’s coat. Everything feels all wrong combined with that big after celebration let down. And now I’m left with what comes next. Feeling uncomfortable, awkward and unfamiliar with my own self.

Next, I get to go play the part of someone in shape, who loves to exercise, only I can’t really do what I used to. May be no one will notice what goes on behind the smile.

June 10, 2011

Money does grow on trees

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I used to have this great vision of a child of a money tree. It looked like a tall oak tree with all kinds of bills in the place of trees. I wished that I could be the first to find that money tree. As an adult, I’ve lost the vision. However, I realized that money does actually grow on trees.

Here’s my thought. I can’t make more money, so, in looking at my financial budget, I need to look closer at my how I spend my money. Stores are continuing to raise their prices and the price of gas is at a “cheap” $3.75 per gallon right now. But, here’s the money on trees, coupons!

I have tried to commit to coupons over the past few months. It’s a lot of cutting without a lot of pay off. My first try at it, I spent $250 and saved $5. Not too great. I did better the next week, saving $10 on $80. Then I lost inspiration. I admit, I did stop watching Extreme Couponing, which was fueling my coupon frenzy. But, it still didn’t seem to sustain me.

This morning, as I was thinking about my money tree and childhood dreams, I realized that rather than trying to compete with the couponers, some of whom seemed like glorified hoarders (sorry), I just need to envision that money tree. Instead of bills on that tree…coupons. All I need to do is see the tree through the forest.

June 7, 2011

The price of things these days..

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’m at the point in my life to follow what I love..what does this means to me?

There is a price and cost associated with and to everything these days. Financially, how can I not focus on the actual costs of things? With gas averaging $4 per gallon, prices of groceries skyrocketing, I can’t help but focus on my bottom line. It’s like getting pay cut. The benefit to all of this is that it forces me to really examine how I choose to spent my “assets” and why. I constantly challenge myself with questions, including what will this add, do I really need it, is it a want and can I get it cheaper. Answering these questions help me to determine the right decisions. I am clear and confident about what I choose.

I’ve been trying to use these same questions to apply them to my health and body budget. For example, I’ve received the medical clearance that I wanted to go back to exercising. I used to work out a lot. I used to train for 10 mile races a few times year. I used to go to Zumba several times per week. All of those things were my outlet. They are clearly something that I value and want, and need, in my life. It is a clear want. I might also argue that I need exercise in my life. However, energy is limited. Therefore, I need to determine what is my real need and what the consequences of that exercise might be. For example, I have just finished my Zumba class for the third day in a row. I can already tell that will have a significant impact in my energy levels. I was hoping that it would assist me in getting to the next level of fitness. But, I can see it’s going to have a negative impact on what I am able to do these next few days. So, while I did enjoy my Zumba, it didn’t add anything to my recovery. A better choice might be to focus on strength training. My emotional bank has been fairly high the past few days. But, my physical budget is low. My foot is numb. I believe that my same injury to the break and ligament tears are aggravated. So, I made a bad choice with my assets. For the next few days, I need to recoup what I’ve lost. Tomorrow, I’ll try yoga or something else more low key.

June 1, 2011

Body budgeting with an early wake up call

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’m up again at crack-o-dawn, as my old co-worker would say. To top things off, I have a function this evening that will have me coming home at 10 tonight. I can hardly remember the last time that I was out. I was a good girl and didn’t grab my Lulu Guinness wedges to wear tonight because I know that I should be wearing flats, even though I really hate my flats. They need some attention. But, chances are that my balance continues to be off. It’s hard to get dressed for cocktail hour when you have a two inch scar on the back of your neck, but I think that I have succeeded in matching comfort with style. But, it’s a new thing for me.

As for my body budget, I’m running on a no budget day. I did do rehab last night with my hands, so my arm is cramping up. It’s also a day with a heat advisory, so I also know that the weather will be slowing down. This means that I should take it easy today. Easier said than done! I haven’t learned that skill yet, but I am trying. So, for now, my plans are to move slowly and may be even take a nap at work if the 14 hour day proves to be too long. We’ll see how that goes.

All in all, I have a plan. The more in control I feel of my choices for my body, the more control of my RSD I’d like to think that I am. I would like to control my body to sleep, but that appears to allude me for now. I wish that my finances were this in control. My prescription went from $40 for a three month supply to $120. Wow! I wish that I had that kind of increase in my pay. The cost of this disability is brutal. I spend $100s a month on doctors visit and $100s more on my 4 prescriptions. And they tell me not to be stressed. I make too much money to qualify for assistance, but not enough to not feel that pain. I do place funds in my FSA for medical costs, but that is still money that could have been in my pocket. Yikes! As for the money for my prescription, I would much rather but the money into some cute black flats because mine are old and worn out. Like me!

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May 25, 2011

Budget busters and PT

by Living with RSD: what comes next?


These topics seemingly don’t go together. But, in my warped mind, they do. Today was my second to last day of physical therapy. During my 3 month long, long stint in PT, I learned a few things about myself. One, I hate PT. Nothing personal. I just don’t like having the restrictions and the pain of rehabing the very parts of your body that are actual pain. The goals for me were to focus on my back, upper and lower, arms, core and legs. Like me, you might be wondering what’s next? Second, for the first time in my life, my goals weren’t to focus on returning to premorbid. They were about returning to functional. I am a fall risk because I am unsteady on my feet. I probably will continue to be unsteady on my feet. Now, let’s get to how this relates to budgeting. I went the gym last week. Loved every minute of it. I spent three days recovering from my two hours of work outs this weekend. I need to make very conscious decisions about what I choose to do with my body and the implications and paybacks.
Now, I blew my budget this past month on a reallly cute sweater. I love my new sweater. It wasn’t in my budget. It really compliments my wardrobe and was worth it. I need to focus the same intensity towards my body. Perhaps I should create a body budget that looks at my energy levels and the choices that I make. I tend towards this approach because it doesn’t take away my right to choose. There are some things, such as work or paying bills, that I have to do. But, there are some things, like Zumba and getting cute sweaters, that I choose to do and will make work.
So, my new approach, as I exit PT on Friday, is a body budget based on my energy levels and right to choose. May be this weekend I’ll create that budget. BTW, in the meantime, I’m going to Zumba this weekend!

May 24, 2011

My goals

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’ve been very neglectful, my dear friends. Studies say that if you want to reach your goals, you must write them down. I was motivated to start this blog for two specific purposes. I have had my life turn around, upside down. I have done the surgeries, prescriptions and medical treatments. It’s now time to move on and get a new start. So, my goal is two-fold.
1) I want to explore my spiritual and emotional recovery. This blog is a means of expressing the emotions that I keep bottled up. Also, I want to consider other types of treatment, most specifically Reiki. I just want to get complete and cleared of all of the other treatments first. The gym is my world and my emotional healing. I believe that part of my emotional recovery is starting back at the gym.
2). Looking for some stronger financial well being. I can’t earn more money, so this means I’ll be looking more closely at my bills to be sure that I know where my money is going and why. I have downloaded a budgeting app and also have started clipping coupons. My first grocery outing was grossly unsuccessful. Spent $250 only to save $5 with coupons. I did much better the next time. Spent $79 and saved $7. I’ll keep moving forward.

So, those are my goals. I have two deadlines. One, by July 15th, I need to summarize my progress for a work contest. Prize for winning…trip to St. Thomas for one week. I won’t be finding any coupon for that. My other date is by years end, 2011. I want to take stock and see how far I’ve come. I’ m guessing that spiritual growth and awareness won’t come to me in three months, so I owe it to myself to continue to grow.

Those are goals. $12 saved so far. Too bad I didn’t budget for a manicure.

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