Posts tagged ‘spirit’

July 31, 2011

The upside to things

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I saw my physiatrist on Friday. The good news is that I’m almost officially no longer a fall risk. Still stuck in the tennis shoes, but they are working. The sort of bad news is that I have two more months of therapy. The upside to that is that they are finally going to work on my back and getting me more comfortable. I can live with that.

My kids were really upset when our cat of nearly 15 years passed away. His body finally had enough with a tumor that was infecting his blood stream. He stunk. The upside to that is that my daughter was finally able to get her bunny. She’s adorable and the dogs have really taken to her. I can also live with that.

Regrets are a funny thing. We offer them when we are unable to attend a party. But we also despair over them when we are unable to change the events of the past. The same word can be used to describe two distinct things with such different levity.

I have many things in my life that I wish that I could change, but I’m not sure that I have any regrets. I live with the full knowledge that life unfolds as it should. That thought offers a lot of comfort to me when I can only see the downside to things.

July 2, 2011

Riding the waves

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

Lately, I’ve had some bad times with some RSD issues. The flare ups have been difficult to manage. Day to day, I’m not too sure what to expect. The other morning, feeling blue again, I found myself thinking that I just need to ride the waves.

Now, when I thought about riding the waves, I had a negative feeling of a person standing alone on the beach with the waves crashing down on them. My summertime version of being overwhelmed. But, may be I need to revisit that snapshot. Why can’t I be the surfer in the ocean waiting to catch the perfect wave. This got me to thinking….what do I really know about riding the waves? I could be that person on the beach, but I’d really rather be the one on the surfboard. So, I googled surfing. Naturally, Wikipedia had the best information. Here’s what I discovered. The waves that surfers want to come are created by the swell of the on the open water called the fetch. The combination of the two will create the perfect waves. It’s up to the surfer to figure out how to ride it. Surfers can ride waves in different ways. We’ve all seen the surfer inside the curl, you can go on top of the wave, or weave in and out. Apparently, according to Wikipedia, the key to good surfing is good balance and core strength. So, what does this all have to do with RSD and my recovery? Good question.

Now, there is the literal parallel. Right now, I’m sitting outside of my physical therapists office, where I am working on core strength and balance. But, I want to go outside of that. Surfers know that the waves will come with varying strengths and intensities. They spend years looking for that perfect wave. May be it will never come and may be it will. It doesn’t matter. I suspect that all surfers will say that the journey of the search makes it worthwhile, not the actual wave. So, may e when I think of myself riding the waves, I don’t have to be the scared person on the shore waiting for the waves to crash into me. I’d really rather be the surfer who looks forward to the waves. And weaves in and out of them because that looks really cool. Cowabunga!

BTW…totally blew the budget @ Disney. Good news is that I didn’t break the bank, but made things pretty tight for the next two weeks.

May 24, 2011

My goals

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’ve been very neglectful, my dear friends. Studies say that if you want to reach your goals, you must write them down. I was motivated to start this blog for two specific purposes. I have had my life turn around, upside down. I have done the surgeries, prescriptions and medical treatments. It’s now time to move on and get a new start. So, my goal is two-fold.
1) I want to explore my spiritual and emotional recovery. This blog is a means of expressing the emotions that I keep bottled up. Also, I want to consider other types of treatment, most specifically Reiki. I just want to get complete and cleared of all of the other treatments first. The gym is my world and my emotional healing. I believe that part of my emotional recovery is starting back at the gym.
2). Looking for some stronger financial well being. I can’t earn more money, so this means I’ll be looking more closely at my bills to be sure that I know where my money is going and why. I have downloaded a budgeting app and also have started clipping coupons. My first grocery outing was grossly unsuccessful. Spent $250 only to save $5 with coupons. I did much better the next time. Spent $79 and saved $7. I’ll keep moving forward.

So, those are my goals. I have two deadlines. One, by July 15th, I need to summarize my progress for a work contest. Prize for winning…trip to St. Thomas for one week. I won’t be finding any coupon for that. My other date is by years end, 2011. I want to take stock and see how far I’ve come. I’ m guessing that spiritual growth and awareness won’t come to me in three months, so I owe it to myself to continue to grow.

Those are goals. $12 saved so far. Too bad I didn’t budget for a manicure.

Tags: , ,
May 15, 2011

Mixed blessings

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I went to a baptism this morning. Baptisms always get me to thinking about renewals and original sin. Not to get too religious, some people believe that you are born a sinner by the flawed human nature. This pastor talked about how you are born with the word of God within you, as well, and if you listen and do the word of God, you will be blessed. Now, whatever version of God you choose to believe in, or not to believe, blessings was the word the really caught me. Can you honestly say that you can recognize the blessings that do exist in your life? Three years ago, I was in a car accident that radically changed how I can live my life. It didn’t change who I am. As I am now trying to cope with living with a disability, I have more trouble recognizing these blessings that must be there. I don’t feel unblessed, but I am not sure that I am feeling too blessed in my life. May be today serves as a reminder to look more carefully.