Posts tagged ‘Starting over’

July 14, 2011

Going back to school

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I had the chance to spend a lot of time over the weekend with school-based personnel. I used to work in the schools myself. I sat in sessions, in the speakers classrooms, and listened to the latest and greatest in my field of work. The enthusiasm of the professional Learners got me to thinking that may be going back to school and learning something new isn’t such a bad thing. Unfamiliar, yes, but not bad. So, may be learning or re-learning how to manage my pain around the weather fronts and what shirt can hide my atrophy in my wrist doesn’t have to be construed as a bad thing.

So, I was all geared up about this whole notion of going back to school, or re-learning, with the speciality of RSD. But then Zumba happened.

I love Zumba. I went to my first class, but accident. It was the first class after my first surgery going back to the gym too soon. I have been doing it ever since and consider it my therapy, both physical and mental. I have been fighting hard to get back my stamina. But there is a group of grown women, I’ll call them the Zumba mafia, that reminded me what I hated about school. You see, the Zumba mafia has to stand in the front row. They are loud. They move together. They are disrespectful to the class. And the largest insult that I can give them, they interfere with other people’s workouts. Saying all of that, I actually do really enjoy them individually. Collectively, they are no different than any other queen bee and wannabe group that you see in school. I did always hate that. So, in the school of RSD, there are still those people that keep you down. I know that it’s a stretch, but humor me. As many insults as I’ve thrown, I think my real problem with them is that I envy them. They get to take it all for granted. I need to be worried about if I’m going to fall again because I can’t feel my feet. I know they have their own set of worries, but it’s still difficult for me. I suppose the moral of the story is that going back to school isn’t all about books and learning about RSD and the pain management of that, but it’s the pain management of the Queen Bees and how I handle my emotions.

I handle it the same way that I did in high school. Kill em with kindness. They are my Facebook friends. And I never let them see me hurt.