Posts tagged ‘Rsdliving’

September 8, 2011

Debbie Downer and Holly Golightly

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

I’ve been remiss in posting on my blog lately. I wish that I could say that I was on a fabulous holiday relaxing on the beach somewhere. But, no. I have been doing the same old routine. I’ve just felt like such a Debbie Downer lately that I didn’t want to subject anyone to my mood, even in my blogging world. My first instinct has always been to hide these moods from other people. I tend to be an upbeat person at heart, but I can’t seem to pull it together. I can’t say that this is the best approach to the world. It tends to keep people at a distance since there is a side to me that no one really knows. But may be it’s time to open up that side a little bit. I just hate to pull people down.

So, here I am, stuck in rut. Holly Golightly talked about getting the mean reds in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The mean reds are worse than the blues. The blues, you see, are just when you are down a little bit. But, the mean reds is when you’re sad and you don’t know what you’re sad about. To cheer herself up, Holly visits Tiffany’s, a place where nothing bad could happen. Here I am in the mean reds and I don’t have that place to visit. I’ve tried to refocus my energy and regain my Chi. I held onto it for awhile. That positive place in my world where anything can happen, but I’ve even lost my Chi. Now, I’m not only Chi-less, but I’m Tiffany-less. No where to hide from those mean reds.

This leaves me with nothing left, but to acknowledge that I am in a negative space. Not end of the world negative, not even unhappy negative, but definitely not a happy space. I don’t like it, which is another not or negative to add to my growing list of negativity.

For today, I thought that I’d try to reroute that negative to a positive. May be, just for today, or just for an hour today, I’ll take the time to recenter myself and think about not not being happy. That’s a tall order for me. Or may be I’ll just go to Tiffany’s instead. Sort of a What Would Holly Do approach to the world.