A big day

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

It is very big day for me. A big step towards acceptance of my RSD.

If you have read any of this blog, you know that I pride myself on my shoes. I love them. I do pick my outfits according to the shoes. And, I will check out everyone’s shoes in the room. First thing that I do. I don’t think about the ones that aren’t my style, but I sure do zoom in on the ones that I love. There are also certain people that I seek out just to check out their shoes. For me, not just an obsession, but my identity.

I have worn the same pair of tennis shoes for the last 4 months. My last fall was about 3 weeks ago. I used to fall several times a day. This is a huge advance for me. I have been terrified to wear real shoes. Plus, the brand of shoes that I am allowed to wear is really not my style. They are clunky. Not the sleek shoes that I am used to. Not the beautiful heels, but a chunky, clunky heel that is rubber and not imported leather. I fought buying these shoes. I didn’t want them. But, I tried them on. I am not going to lie. I thought that they were ugly. I still think that the are ugly. But, they did feel great. Almost like wearing two bricks on my feet. Very stable.

So, I was a big girl and bought the ugly, practical shoes. Now, I have two pairs that I can wear to work. I don’t love the shoes, but I am proud of myself. I did the right thing. I still need to buy more shoes, but this was a big first step. Next step, black boots. Michael Kors has some beautiful ones. I just hope that they are stable enough for me…

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