Tearing down the blocks

by Living with RSD: what comes next?

It’s been some time since I’ve last written. I’ve had some pretty bad writer’s block lately. I can’t say that I’m surprised. It kind of matches how I feel, I feel very far removed from my emotions and myself. Lost.
I’ve always been a person with direction, a Virgo for those of you who follow horoscopes. I typically have a plan B and do risk analysis before making major decisions. Even minor ones truthfully. But this block….I don’t have a plan. I’m just stuck. Nothing. I’ve got no plans.
A major breakthrough in my physical therapy has happened. I can now wear shoes other than tennis shoes. Big deal. Huge. Major. But I can’t seem to do anything about it. I have this block. I can’t go back to my old shoes. They will hurt me. Or, to be more clear, I will get hurt wearing them. The therapists have recommended the new shoes for me. I don’t want them. I want my old shoes. But, can’t have them. Only for special occasions. I need go move on. It breaks my heart.
Instead of moving on, I just stay in my Brooks Running shoes, even though I’m not allowed to run anymore. At least they have purple shoelaces.

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